Whining About Wine.

Cyn Fandel, left, and Bo Jolais, shown enjoying their 2010 Flat Tyre Vin de Pluum.

The owner’s of Two Bikes Farm, Bo Jolais and Cyn Fandel, are proud to announce the release of their spectacular Flat Tyre 2010 Vin de Pluum.  The specific terroir of the Rock Crick Valley, underlain, as it is, with billions of boulders of calaraceous glacial rock and the curious blend of bituminous layers intermixed with the hydrogen sulphide run-off left behind after the closure of the Carbonado Mine, have led to this solid, albeit unctuous, yet serious and possibly brilliant high shellac, low varnish vintage with a somewhat sophisticated sinew and a cacophony of confident, meadow-muffin flavors swirled over rich pine sap and a silky yet sagey texture with a finish that, in extended time tests exhaustively conducted by the Montana Extension & Retraction Service, will last for 2.549 seconds.  In addition, it is long-legged and lush with extravagant hints of high mountain marmot musk, elk horn shavings, zebra mussel chowder and just a hint of roasted poblano chile pepper stems.  The pluums are gently picked by a hand-operated grinder-shredder at the peak of their perfection and organically fermented without chemicals, washing, straining or the removal of tent caterpillars and black ants. 

“We were lucky this year that when the rains finally came they brought moisture with them.  Some years that don’t happen”, said Mr. Jolais.  Several times during the interview, Ms. Fandel unceasingly commented that,”Well, we can always use the moisture, right?”

The  2010 Vin de Pluum has already won the prestigious “Hooters for Hay-Zoos” gold medal for the best wine to wash your feet in.  The wine will be available for sale at “The Supermarket At The End OF The Road” or by US-PMS Mail, OOPS, FECKLESS-X, or by wagon train direct from the farm.  Retail cost is $7.00 per bottle plus $135.00 shipping and handling fee.  Cash or Nigerian money orders only, please.

© 2010 Michael Mason. All rights reserved. This material may not be reproduced, displayed, modified or distributed without the express prior written permission of the copyright holder.
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2 Responses to Whining About Wine.

  1. Marcie Lardy says:

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaah! Ohh my gawdddddd. That is a funny piece of work. I will revisit this one often! Thanks capt. Mike! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaah

  2. Jennifer says:

    Love the “label” 🙂

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