Einstein versus Mule Deer


Good old Albert Einstein said, “No two solid objects can occupy the same place at the same time!”  We experienced this law in action yesterday on the way to see some art galleries in the town of Livingston to the west of us.  Cruising along Interstate 90 at 70 miles an hour, a couple miles east of the rest stop, a mule deer decided Al didn’t know what the f*ck he was talking about and proceeded to challenge the theory. 

Our poor baby!!

The right front edge of the car caught him, flipped him around, slammed him into the fender and door and his head flipped up and smashed the passenger side window covering Karen with a tsunami of safety glass chunks.     We drifted over to the side, stopped and checked each other for injuries.  ALL OK!!!!!!!!!!!  Thank you Buddah!!!!!!  Pulled the seat

Redneck window and yummy deer blood.

cover out of my butt cheeks, got out and checked the car….. The front headlight was disintegrated,

One eyed wonder.

the fender looked like an angry Hell’s Angel had stomped the crap out of it, the passenger door was jammed shut and I had to rip off the chunk of fiberglass bumper that was dragging on the ground.  

Demolition derby results.

 But no fluids were leaking out…from the car or us.  (Except for what I had to clean out of my underwear)  Chalk up a +1 for Hyundai!  Picked up all the loose pieces from the highway, threw them in the trunk and drove on to the next exit, turned around and headed home.  Very cold and windy 50 mile ride back home.  Funny thing though, just that morning I had put an old down sleeping bag in the trunk, so at least Karen was able to wrap up and be shielded from the wind. 

At home Karen went in to make lunch and I stayed out to put plastic on the window to keep out the forecast snow and so we could drive it to the body shop on Monday.  While I was taping plastic over the exploded window, our neighbor’s dog, Shooter, came up and insisted on licking the blood off of the door.  Shooter, as you can probably see from the picture only has three legs but he is the fastest critter you have ever experienced.   

Fastest dog in the neighborhood!!!

He never walks anywhere.

 After a good lunch of nachos and a couple of margaritas, the adrenalin was gone from our bodies and we talked about the time line of  happenstance that put us and the Mulie together at the wrong time for all of us.  One little change to the time line—leaving a little earlier, running back inside to pee once more, stopping in Columbus to look in the second hand store that is usually closed, staying behind the old guy driving 40 miles an hour instead of passing him, had the deer stayed 20 seconds longer for one last drink from the Yellowstone………… any of those would have modified the time line so that, like ships in the night, we would have passed each other without incident.   Every day, the time line flows and branches off and is changed through our actions or inactions.  Thinking about it will just make you crazy.  I find it easier to ask myself, “Am I happy and healthy at this very point in my life?”  And if the answer is YES, as it always is for me, then everything that has ever happened in the past line of my life (whether thought of at the time as good or bad) has led me to this happiness.  But still, I feel sad for the deer.

PS.  Montana is fourth in the nation for deer car collisions with 1 chance in 82 of hitting a deer.  West Virginia is first with 1 chance in 42 and Hawaii is last with 1 chance in 13,1000.  Hawaii here we come. 

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2 Responses to Einstein versus Mule Deer

  1. Barbara says:

    when my son was working in yellowstone, he and a bunch of his buddies were coming back into the park from a night out and hit a buffalo. talk about glass, blood, and guts!

    i’m glad you guys are okay….even if the vehicle and the deer aren’t.

    no chance you’re gonna get nailed for taking a deer out of season; right?

  2. Marcie Lardy says:

    Man I’m glad you two are ok! Good thing you are such a ninja driver! Sorry about your car! Stay safe friends! Funny article at times Michael keep it up.

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