Have not really been shirking my blog post duties; was having problems again with my borrowed computer. As has been the case off and on from the time my friends Jonnie and Craig so graciously loaned me this computer after mine died a most horrible death, I lost a few letters on my keyboard. The most important ones being G and H.
Now you would think that that would not matter a great deal, but it does! Particularly the loss of the H key. You cannot type words like “the” and “that”, or, of course, lacking the G, anything ending in “ing.” I had no idea how much I relied upon those two letters.
But this afternoon, when I came home from one of my numerous social engagements [playing games with my friends], I commenced to write an email to folks about the latest adventures of my cat friend, Pepe Z. And I could not do it because of those missing letters. And that just ticked me off! [Except, of course, it didn’t “tick” me off, it was way worse than that!]
So I resolved to fix the problem! I am woman, hear me roar. Hear me bitch, moan, and whine! And what did I do? What any reasonable person would do. I started Googling stuff.
I had actually been doing so for the past few days, but I just wasn’t using the right words. I would get all this technical jargon which really didn’t address my particular problem. But somehow, today, I actually googled the right words and found the instructions for how to repair the keyboard on an older Dell laptop.
The instructions started out, as one might expect, by saying close all programs, shut down, and unplug everything, close the screen, and flip the laptop upside down. They continued by saying that I should then use a Phillips head screwdriver to unscrew all the screws labeled K on the bottom of the computer.
Now, first of all, who knew that there were letters on the bottom of the computer? And, second of all, who knew that they MEANT something??? Not me! This is the kind of stuff that computer geeks never tell you; right? And, honestly, when I saw “4 screws with a K” I had all sorts of sexual innuendos running through my mind.
Now I’m not exactly a novice when it comes to all things computer. I am TOTALLY a novice, as my friend Bart-dude, the computer guy at Zion National Park will tell you. But even I understood this stuff!
I was so excited! All I had to do was whip out my trusty Phillips head screwdriver, remove those bothersome K screws, pop out the keyboard, and make sure the keyboard was “securely plugged into the port at the top panel of the computer.”
Your eyes are glazing over; right? Because mine were. WTF kinda gibberish is this? The only words I really understood were “pop out” and frankly, I only understood those because I have cooked a few Butterball turkeys in my lifetime!
Nonetheless, I was bound and determined to do this. So I whipped out the first of only two tools that I brought with me to Mexico, my Black & Decker 2.4 volt electric screwdriver. It had served me well when I lived in the National Parks in the US and I knew that it would not let me down here in Mexico.
Except that it did. The Phillips head screwdriver part of it was too big!!
Oy, what’s a woman to do?
Oh, but wait, I thought to myself, I do have one more tool here and surely this one will work! So I whipped out my trusty Swiss Army knife. I mean it really is the only tool one ever needs; right? It’s got everything! Or at least everything I need.
So NOW what is a woman to do? Well, I’m not the type to break out wailing and bemoaning my fate. I’m definitely more the type to break out swearing and beating up on stuff. But I did neither, you will be happy and relieved to know.
I actually sat down and thought about it for a minute.
And that was when I realized my friend-of-all-trades, Antonio, is coming over tomorrow. And he’s a REAL repair guy! He has tools for all types of situations. All I have to do is email him and ask him to bring over HIS toolkit! Because he has every tool that anyone could ever need.
So I flipped over the computer, opened it up, started it up, brought up my Yahoo account and commenced to write. And, dear friends, do you know what happened? Yep, that’s right, I had my G and H back, as well as all the other non-functional keys!
Oh, sure, you will say that I probably either knocked some grit loose from under the keys or shifted something in the internal workings of the computer, but I prefer the term “deus ex machina.” I swear I’ve been reading that phrase since I was in high school, but only today did I really understand it.
Younger readers, here’s a tip. It might take you 50 years, but one day something will just click in your head and you will kind of understand something somebody said 2000 years ago. And, no, I’m not talking Jesus here!
So let’s hear it for my man, Horace, and the intervention of Senor Google! It’s an amazing world, boys and girls, an amazing world!